My Dearest Chaitanya,

Happy Birthday! I've spent minimal hours putting this whole website together, and I hope it made you smile. More than all the other things and GIFs, this letter holds the most important thing I want to say today: I love you more than words can express.

You are the reason I look forward to every talk we have, every future plan, and every day that brings us closer to closing this distance. Thank you for your patience, your kindness, and for being the most incredible person I know.

I wish I could be there to celebrate with a big cake and a real hug, but know that I'm celebrating you right here. Have the most wonderful birthday!

I just want to start this by saying thank you for being in my life, like yk i might regret saying this but i really had no life before you, not the one like you, but the one where i had every reason to be happy, but somehow i wasn’t, i manually tried many things to fill the gap but a void was always there, a place where i always felt i had to show my use someplace somehow. It was always about how I am making someone’s life better. And then, then my love, you came into my life, you changed everything.

Everything that i thought was making me happy, turns out i was just escaping the time i had to spend alone, and you remember saying to me that “shivangi, are you really outgoing or do you have no friends?” I paused for a minute there, because you were always right, i had no friends, not the one that stayed w me at long nights i needed someone, or someone i could trust the most, but you came and became my everything, but the most important that i always wanted. A best friend. You are my best friend, i always think of you when im in a room full of people, that how you being with me would make me more happy.

You know i won’t say you are like a sunlight or sunset or anything, because you're not someone to change the surroundings in one night. You took your time, you clouded all my insecurities and then you washed away all sorrows and doubts on things i never knew i wanted more then ever like the rain when you’re in bed and just looking out and smelling the mud as it gets better every minute.

There have been multiple times where i cried not because i felt sadness, but because i felt so loved by you, the feeling of security, that i can turn out to be the worst person on this planet but you would still have my back, you would still love me, i’ve never felt his way before, i could do anything in my control to keep us forever, i want nothing else, like yeah i want things, but not something that puts us on the line where i risk even getting your heart even a feather weight heavy.

You know, i feel like as if i was always fulfilled, keeping myself warm, thinking im good enough by myself, and then one day you showed me yourself, you opened up that one window of the cold reality there is, and the one you faced, and before i knew i fell in love with you, i can just say right now you’re like that breeze that is strong enough to end everything by himself but inside you’re just a kid who had big dreams, who wanted to win, you have done enough for everyone but yourself, i want to give you every happiness in the world, i want to spend the rest of my life making you smile, laugh, cry when you mess up and then angry when i rage bait you.

You’re the best investment of energy I made in this lifetime, nothing compares more. Even though right now we’re miles apart, there will be times we’ll cuddle and get to sleep together in the same bed, in each other’s arms, same timezone and won’t have our phones stuck to our chests(it really causes my medical condition ngl). it’ll get much much better, it’ll get colorful, it’ll be filled with every happiness there exists. And we’ll have the best time of our life, I'll make sure of it, you just have to sit back and relax and drink redbull.

In the end of this, i just want to say once again, i’ve probably said this 3-4 times before sending this to you i guess, but still, happiest 23rd birthday to you my chaitanya, you’re the best, you’re the smartest, sexiest, cutest, most handsome and strong, mostttttt adorable and at last the most easily able to love man on the earth. Loving you is like breathing to me, just you existing makes it easier. I love you my baby ❤️(i started crying writing this too btw xp)

Whenever i feel lost, you’re the first thought on my mind, my adult pro max, my google, my gemini, my gynac, my everything. I feel like living the rest of my life with you wouldn’t be enough after i die i wish to be born as a cell in your body, i want to be so close to you, like not even skin to skin connection is enough atp, only solution left is for me to reside within yours wbcs and protect you.

All my love, always,

Shivangi