Chaitanya

Moving on and significant others

2021-02-15

In the recent episode of the podcast FOMO Sapiens, behavioural scientist Logan Ury discussed having many significant others. She had also written about this in an essay for The New York Times’ Modern Love column. The crux of having other significant others (as coined by psychologist Eli Finkel) is to have your needs met from more than just your romantic partner. Your partner cannot always meet all your needs even if you expect them to. So, these are the people who would go along with you to exercise or listen to you vent about things your partner isn’t interested in hearing.

I think I have had many significant others throughout my life (regardless of if I am involved in a romantic relationship or not). They have seen me through the toughest of my times and given me the confidence to laugh about it too. I have a bunch of them, and I love them a lot.

Recently I realised that I could not stay stuck with them going forward. I want them to stay and be around, but it has not happened in the past couple of years. I am sure there is no single person to blame here. I am part of this relationship as much as they are, but I just have not been able to have them around. I still love them all a lot and things would never go for the worse. I need to move on so I can grow in other parts of life. I don’t feel like this is the wrong decision to make, but we will let time judge that.

If you are reading this, I just want you to know I am with you always.


This post is Day 010 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge.